Not In Good (Insurance) Company

(I work on the front desk at a repair shop. A client calls us back; they called earlier and spoke with someone else.)

Client: “I need you to tell me who my insurance is.”

Me: “…Pardon?”

Client: “I called before and you told me that I needed to find out who insured my car, so tell me who insures my car!”

Me: “Er, sorry, I wouldn’t know that. You need to know who your insurance is with.”

Client: “Well, I don’t know who my insurance is! Find out for me!”

Me: “I can’t do that. There’s more than two dozen insurance companies in the immediate area alone. Do you have any documents about your insurance? An insurance policy? An invoice?”

Client: “This is bullshit! I pay $1000 a month to be insured, and you don’t even know who it is?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we aren’t your insurance company. We fix cars. We don’t know who your insurance company is.”

Client: “WHY NOT?!”

Me: “Because we aren’t your insurance company, we haven’t ensured your car, and you have never dealt with us before. There is no way for us to know where your car is insured.”

Client: “When I bought this car, I spent a lot of money on getting this protection pack and I was promised [Insurance Company]‘s extended protection and—”

Me: “Excuse me—”

Client: “I’m not finished!”

(Cue a five minute long rant about how he spent so much money on his car, during which he mentions the insurance company’s name no less than four times.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. But did you say that you have [Insurance Company]‘s protection?

Client: “YES!”

Me: “So, you mean [Insurance Company] is your insurance company?”

Client: “How should I know?!”

Me: “Okay, well, if you have [Insurance Company]‘s cover, then that is your insurance company.”

Client: “God, was that so f***ing hard?!”

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